Silly use of English

Coming from a country like India, where the British influence is so immense and English is taught right from the text book, I always get amused at some of the use of english that I get to hear in the US, see below:

Do you *see* what I am *saying* ? :

Dude how can i see what you are saying, I'd rather see what is visible and *hear* what you are saying :)

How do I kill time ? :

You murderer : You'll end up *DOING* time after killing it

I want to do you ? :

CENSORED !

I guess there is much more. But i gotta go now